Sooo…

I haven’t written a post in a while for a variety of boring and predictable reasons. And while pontificating on what uninformed irrelevancy I should inflict on you the dear reader, I scrolled through the blog you’re currently reading to see what other people had been posting, and was delighted to see Julissa Ortiz had posted “The Shopper Freakout” a couple weeks ago.

Around that same time a friend sent me the same video and I opened it up while eating lunch and listening to some very nasty Dubstep. I watched the video as our frantic hero pleaded and DEMANDED to know WHAT RIGHT did these chumps think they had to lock a citizen from a shopping center meant for THE PUBLIC. Enthralled, I watched it again as the music continued. The wobbly demented bass made sweet sonic love to a nonfictional soliloquy, delivered and recorded in a moment of passionate desperation.

My half eaten sandwich was forgotten as I harnessed this would-be shopper’s passion for the next 20 minutes and unleashed my experience onto the nearest editing program.

The following is a through and finite expression of any artistic potential I have ever possessed. This is actualization of my entire life’s work. It’s all downhill from here, but this should ensure my legacy lives long after mankind ceases to exist.

Enjoy…

- Jason Hopkins