I watched “Chopper” this past week. (According to imdb, “Chopper tells the intense story of Mark “Chopper” Read, a legendary criminal who wrote his autobiography while serving a jail sentence in prison.”) It’s intense, I agree. And funny, perverted, gruesome… It’s a pretty good movie.

Chopper claims that he’s a homicidal maniac – with like 19 murders under his belt. The best/worst part of the story is that he can only prove that he’s killed one person – and that was in self-defense. So, he’s basically just a crazy guy who sometimes kills people. And, he’s built an empire on that craziness. He’s written like 10 semi-autobiographical books (“semi” because in them he claims he’s killed a lot more people than he has) that have made him a best-selling author in Australia. And, he just released an album that’s selling well too. They love him. He’s turned himself – his nasty, violent, hateful self – into a loved brand. After seeing the movie, I was even sort of on his side.

I mean, he’s made loads of money, gained the respect – or at least interest – of millions, and built his personal brand simply by being the sociopathic, semi-killer that he is. And it still takes me hours to get out a decent headline – not to mention build a whole brand (not there yet).

So, here’s to you, Chop Chop. You sick F—.

- Niki Clainos