Free Food: Sure, one might be an asshole for taking more donuts than everyone else in any other kind of social situation. But you work in advertising – you deserve all the goddamn donuts you want. So don’t even worry about those 3 or 4 co-workers you just screwed out of breakfast. They probably don’t need the extra calories anyways. But you, my friend, have been working late and could use a little fattening up. So the next time you’re feeling insecure about indulging in more free grub than everyone else, take Nike’s advice and just do it.

Dating Co-workers: If you can take the inevitable drama, I see nothing wrong with it. Sure, inner office dating is frowned upon in many industries. But, lucky for us, most ad agencies could give a shit as long as your sexual exploits don’t affect your work. Besides, what’s the point of working with so many beautiful and talented people if you can’t even sleep with them? Exactly.

Dating Interns: Unfortunately, I have to advise against such behavior. Yes, interns are cute. Yes, they are willing to do damn near anything to get ahead. Yes, they’re intriguingly innocent and untainted by adult life. But with so many other full-time fish in the sea, there’s no reason to go off ruining some poor young intern’s reputation, or worse, their career. So be responsible for fuck’s sake – if you really want to hook up with an intern, try your best to help them get hired and refer to my previous post on dating co-workers. If they do get hired, they’re fair game. If they don’t, well, I’m sure you’ll survive somehow you creepy pervert.

Agency Parties: What can I say? Just try not to drive drunk or murder anyone.

- David Fox