I was watching Top Chef the other day, which is only ironic if you’ve seen the contents of my fridge. As I zoned out, I thought about how everyone on the show refers to other chefs as “Chef.” Typically, it’s not even “Chef Tom” or “Chef Colicchio,” it’s just “Chef.” Like “Doctor” and “Coach,” the title Chef apparently stands on its own. These aren’t even ranks, like Ensign, Major or Admiral. They’re just jobs. When did this happen? And why is it only used for certain professions?

Frankly, I think it’s high time we were all extended that privilege. Why can’t I be referred to as “Copywriter” or “Writer”? The same goes for art directors, producers, developers, butchers, or anyone with a defined job. Just think of the time we could save in having to remember names. I also propose that you’re allowed to keep the title for as long as you want. Men and women are referred to as “coach” long past their retirement, even when they are dreadful coaches. Somewhere, someone just called Rich Kotite (4-35 in his last 39 games as an NFL head coach) “Coach” and no one’s head exploded.

Who’s with me?

- Copywriter Kyle Cavanaugh