Adult wants sex Wray

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Podcast hsj : Play in new window Download Duration: — Subscribe: iTunes Android. God made sex to be enjoyed by husbands AND their wives! Today, my friend Sheila and I will talk very candidly about what keeps wives from enjoying sex—and what we can do to change that. Submit your questions to MailBox Monday. She loves encouraging women in their relationships, both with God and with their husbands, children, and friends. Her passion is for marriage, and she and her husband Keith speak together at marriage outreaches and at FamilyLife Canada marriage conferences.

Sheila believes in authenticity, and gives real solutions to the very Adult wants sex Wray and messy problems women, and couples, can face. Preferably simultaneously. Connect with Sheila: Website Facebook. Welcome to the podcast. Are you ready? Stick around. All right you guys, so thanks for tuning in today. Thank you to everybody who is sending us cards in our Christmas card Palooza.

We are having a fantastic time reading those. Love that I heard from Esther in Switzerland, a little handwritten note from her. Thank you Esther for writing to us. We are putting them up here at Firmly Planted Family. You guys, we are so excited to be seeing your pictures and hearing your stories of how the podcast is affecting your lives, so thank you very much for doing that. I know, I know. I can hear it. I can hear it in your voices. My husband and I will be in the Caribbean for that cruise for those eight days along with my friend Todd Wilson and his wife Debbie.

And so my friend today is Sheila Wray Gregoire. We should be talking about it. Sheila is a popular speaker. She blogs about marriage. She loves encouraging women in their relationships, both with God and with their husbands. Sheila Wray Gregoire, welcome to the podcast. We are going to have some fun today. We should be having some fun. Yeah, give the moms a break from all the Christmas wrapping that still needs to be done.

And the kids who are just there. They need you every minute of every day. And something that you and I have talked about over the years quite a bit is this area of intimacy, sexual intimacy, in marriage. Like what if God created something which is supposed to be really amazing for both of you and which was supposed to help you feel better and more relaxed and more in love. And instead of embracing it, we just ignored it and tried to put it at the bottom of our to-do list.

I want her to download this podcast today. And you and I were talking about this before the show started, that this is something that churches focus on. Wives should be taking care of your husbands, your wives, husbands have a, usually a stronger sex drive than their wives do. And so we tend to focus on that. Why do you say that? Cause like who wants duty sex? Who wants obligation sex? No woman wants that. Then when we get out the to do list and there it goes. You know, when do I get to matter? And so they thought that they were like weird or something.

And when we phrase it that way, then girls can feel like I am the cause of sin. Then they grow up and they get married and this message gets then other messages are adding onto it. And you just kind of feel like God is using your body. And it sort of perpetuates that. It really does it. I mean, what has just happened is what she believed about it just got reinforced. And so how do we stop the cycle? And the message that we often hear is that the way you Adult wants sex Wray the cycle is just by having more sex. And what I want to say is, no, hold on a second. What we need to do instead is go back to first principles and say, what did God make sex for?

And God did not make sex so that your husband could feel great while you laid there and just wish that he would get it over with.

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Like God is not expecting Adult wants sex Wray to do that. You know what God is saying is I created something amazing and I created it for you too. And I want you to experience all of it. So how can we see it as a positive thing? So ladies, I want to give you the positive message today. Sheila, I like the positive message. But there you go. And, and you know he opened the Bible and he said, and Adam knew his wife Eve and they conceived unto them a son. Cause we all think this is the funniest thing in the world, right?

Like, like God is embarrassed of saying the real word. And I think the reason that God used that word in Genesis was to tell us that sex is more than just physical. You know? God intended this to be a deeply intimate thing and not just that—He intended it to be really, really pleasurable. I want to talk about the theology of the clitoris. This tells us a lot about God.

All right, and a lot of what he meant for sex. The clitoris is not inside the vagina. Like why would God do that? Like, because the clitoris is how we feel the majority of pleasure. And I get into this a lot in some of my books. So God made us so that the main focus of our pleasure was outside the vagina. All right? But for most women, what we need is so special attention there. And if God made us that way, then that means that he intended for women to be the focus of attention during sex for awhile.

Like God knows that women are multitaskers. And so God looked at us and he said, you know what? I want to give women a chance to be the ones who were served, and I want to give women a chance to not multitask, and I want you to be the center of attention. And so he made us so that we would need foreplay so that guys would have to not be selfish and pay attention to us for a bit.

And also so that we would have to just connect with our bodies.

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Our sex drives are so much in our head. And so the only way that we can enjoy ourselves is if we can empty our he of all the responsibilities we have and just focus on our bodies and focus on our husbands. How do we do that? How can we do that, Sheila? How do we, how do we disconnect that stuff? Because women are multitaskers and I think this is half the problem, right?

So how do we get from the space being the multitaskers that we are and the people that God has made us to relax and actually enjoy being with our husbands. When you were lying there, I want you to ask yourself what feels good right now? Like what is wanting to be touched really. But if you say to yourself, what needs to be touched right now? And then you can pay attention to that and you can guide him to it.

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You can talk about it, whatever. And let me tell you something. And so we rushed through it because we think, Oh, he must be bored of this, or he must be getting tired or his hand must be hurting or whatever is hurting. And all of that. And yet the average guy can have an orgasm in three minutes.

So I got another question for you.

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And so we grew in this area obviously together. But I can tell you, most of the women I talk to and I travel all over the country. He wants you to be engaged.

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And so a lot of this just negative self talk. And what I hear you saying is you got to be intentional about even directing your thoughts. Or have you ever had sex? The way that we define sex is man puts his thing there, right? You know, inside her and he moves around until he gets released. And that tends to be the definition of sex. And what I want to encourage us is to think of sex in a totally different way.

They are actually, this is really, really happy.

Adult wants sex Wray

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